The Challenge of Authenticity

My mind races with thoughts on a daily basis and sometimes I have to slow down just to process the most prescient ones. Now I've been pondering authenticity and how hypocritical many of us can be with it. I might have to come back to this topic 'cause I had a late night last night and I'm still groggy.

But...I've often wondered why so many authority figures encourage young people to "just be themselves" and when they take this advice to heart, then they're told that they need to adjust and reposition themselves for whatever is most pleasing to the masses. No, I don't have empirical data for this, but it's something that I believe to be true.

Why can't we deal with each other on the real? And I mean, the REAL, real.

I met a young man recently who told me that he prefers to show people who he is before they show him who they are. And I have to admit that I admire this outlook on things. Because it seemed that he was trying to approach his relationships from a place of clear truth.

Even when dating, I suspect that many people put on fronts to attract their significant others and if things progress, then try to iron out the details of who they really are and where they're really coming from. But why is it so scary to be authentically and un-apologetically who we are?

I think the answer is complex. But it could very well be, that beyond the fear of rejection and the pain of being socially awkward, that many of us don't know who we are. That is, we haven't spent enough time with ourselves to feel solid in what we stand for, what we like, what makes us cringe or what we desire. It could also be that human beings are too multi-layered to ever have one static 'us' to even show people. We're different people at different times, depending on our moods, on the political climate, our family situations or even what goals we're striving for.

It's interesting to me to see some individuals who appear to be flashy and gregarious on the outside and note that there's someone extremely frightened or unsure beneath. Likewise, I've met people who appear to be extremely quiet and non-social, who are teeming with ideas and passions and causes beneath their surface.

I think part of this life's journey is to constantly uncover our layers.

I seek out friends and lovers who are authentic and real. Who don't need to deceive me so that I can be impressed. Who feel so comfortable in their skin that I have no choice but to be at ease around them.

Just my thoughts today...

Every Day Praise

I've been working on something exciting that I'm not going to talk about yet because I want to save the surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But let me say that I'm thankful for my family and friends and the insight I glean from both parties. Some of the most inspiring and interesting people that I've met are also the ones from which I learn the most. I'm pretty sure this is not a coincidence. The other day I was talking to one of my friends who was getting excited about some of my latest developments and when I joked her about her gleeful response, she replied "I'm making a joyful noise!" And the Universe chimed in, "And you should do the same Daphne!". I realized suddenly how much I withhold my joy for fear of seeming out there. But then it dawned on me, that the people I'm afraid of seeming out of place around are the wrong people for me to have to deal with in the first place. Joy, bliss and unadulterated glee are our DEFAULT
emotions. But, if you're like me, working around people who make watching fire burn a most captivating sport, you forget this more than not. I haven't been making a joyful noise because I've been socialized to remain as quiet as possible. I haven't been making a joyful noise because of what people would think of me. I also haven't been making a joyful noise because some of the
individuals with whom I work don't make the time...joyful (if you know what I mean). But that stops NOW! Life is way too precious and way too short to be locked in a demure cocoon to be reserved for who knows when. Life is about passion and beauty and releasing the amazing feelings that emerge when you're engaged in creating a new.

I frequently read blackprof.com and there was an article (http://www.blackprof.com/archives/2007/06/african_american_male_tourists_1.html) pertaining to the "African-American Male Exodus to Brazil" and why African-American women should be angry. The article was referring to many men's (alleged) trips and side relationships with Brazilian women and alluded to the deterioration of those same men's American relationships. The comments went on and on and unsurprisingly began to get nasty. But my very FIRST reaction to the article was WHY? Why should I or any other African-American woman be angry about this? (Hasn't the media alluded to the fact that we're ALREADY angry?) If these men are happy with their new relationships, shouldn't they be released to do
as they please? Why do I need to be upset about something that has no bearings on who I am as a person or a lover? Phhhffft.

There are too many beautiful people, places and things in this life for me to experience and explore to even begin to be upset about something like this. And what does it say about a media and journalists who continue to dig this tripe from the landfills? If we spent more time focused on making a joyful noise and creating the world we want, we'd have less time to instigate issues such as the above.

My friend has reminded me that making a joyful noise is not relegated to a house of worship! Making a joyful noise is our birthright, part of our everyday
responsibility! So all i can say right now is - WOO HOO! I'M PUMPED UP, AMPED UP, FIRED UP AND FILLED UP! And if feels GGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!